A rumble in the jungle

The roar he heard turned out to be not so far in the distance. In fact, it was close. Real close. Focusing his ear drums to pinpoint its location, he realized rather painfully it was coming from his stomach. He couldn't remember the last time he had tasted anything but cool water collected from a floppy jungle leaf. How many days had it been? He couldn't say. And even if he could, there was noone around to hear him.

When he awoke to realize his predicament, he had tried to keep track of the sun's position overhead. A long-forgotten skill learned from his boy scout days. In and out of consciousness, he had no idea how many times the sun had risen and set since it all happened. He had lost count.

Days or hours, maybe even a week had passed since the attack. Back in Minnesota, he had been dreaming of this adventure since he was a boy. He struggled through school, a few girlfriends, a few cash registers, a whole lot of raw meat and the general monotony of small town life for his chance. His Dad's collection of National Geographics were dog-eared, dull and torn from his incessant skimming. He preferred them that way. The real thing, the astonishing colours, would materialize soon enough.

Daniel had patience. That was likely the reason he hadn't gone mad with fear and hunger, yet. But he had to find food and fast. He had to take advantage of this period of alertness. He promised himself that this time, he wouldn't give into the warm embrace of sleep. He inhaled rather forcefully. As if by doing so, his energy reserves would go from bordering on E to nearing F. Now to formulate a plan.

To write or not to write and Haiti

Hmmmm...I feel like I should write something. Mostly for the sake of just writing something. And because it's been awhile. I had an idea for a post earlier today but with making pancakes for breakfast, preparing the Sheppards pie for supper (which sucked for some reason), the whole 10 minutes of outdoor skating on a fake rink (not ice, but plastic? very weird), the 1.5 hours of preparing to go skating, the visit to a fast food joint and watching our friend's daugther play basketball, well, I'm spent and uninspired and can't remember my idea.

Well, there's always Haiti. But I can't bear to go into IT. The horror, the unfairness of it all, the gross delays in assistance arriving (thereby leading to loads of preventable deaths), Sanjay Gupta...urghhhh...It's heart-wrenching, it's terribly frustrating, etc. And it makes me feel very grateful for my life.

The end, for now. Oh, I just had an idea for a new post. No, not the one I forgot but a brand new one. Next time I'm going to write about the "necessity" for parents to take time away from their children. And yes, I put "necessity" in brackets because, well, it's my personal opinion.

Well up yours too Swedish chick

There's this mother at my son's school that I feel really dislikes me. I have no clue why this pierced, tatted, short and slightly stocky grunge queen has it in for me, but I'm convinced she does.

I must've made the mistake of saying something untoward, ignorning her in general parental conversation while waiting outside for the kiddies one day or perhaps she's not a big fan of my bubbly, English-talking "American-ness" (even though I'm Canadian). Like maybe I put her off with my appearance:

Showing up to drop/off pick up my son sporting:
- sweat pants & sometimes matching sweat top
- ratty sneakers
- un-did hair, could be on the greasy side
- badly coloured hair (though this has since changed thanks to a trip to Canada)
But hey, I usually always have a smile. Didn't Annie sing that "you're never fully dressed without a smile!"?

Once I noticed this woman's demeanor of complete dismissal and disinterest, I've made it my pseudo-mission to engage her. You know, by smiling directly AT her, trying to engage her in conversations, etc. FAIL. She paints her face with one of those grins that says, "I'm only half trying to put a smile on my face out of politeness and I realize I'm doing a half-ass job but i don't give a flying F, because well, I just don't like you."

And today, as we passed each other, I tried to hold her gaze and I forced the biggest, friendliest, American-type smile I could muster (complete with yesterday's mascara running down my eyelashes). Ok, so she obviously saw me coming a mile away. Me and my new bright red, but very Swedish, winter jacket. Me with equally bright FUSHIA jogging pants on. Yup, major colour clash. Me with these awesome rubber-type, hard-core winter boots I picked up in Canada (that i have to walk funny in because they give me blisters). I am the ANTI her. But I thought opposites attracted?

Anyway...She just stared at me with this, "I really don't give a hoot about you or that you're trying to befriend me. I don't like you. And on top of that, I'm Swedish and we Swedes are not required to engage in polite conversation or even smile if we choose not to."

Yup. Score: -2 for Team Fushia, +1Million for G.I. Jane

I am the type of person that cares what people think and hates the thought of someone potentially not liking me. Though I do realize that there are people out there who don't. You either fall into two camps with me: 1. That Jenn, she is so friendly and funny and chatty and loveable or 2. That Jenn, she drives me insane with her fake, over-the-top personality. What an obnoxious BIT#%. At least that's what I believe.

Can I do a conversion, from Camp #2 to Camp #1? Let the X Games begin (well because she would definitely be a fan of the X-Games. The Olympics are too mainstream for her)...

New Year and News

Now that I'm back and away from the hustle and bustle, joy and pain of our 3-week holiday "home" in Canada, I thought I'd get back into the swing of bloggyland with an Update Post. Some short (for me) words on what's been going on:

The Holiday: In a word: emotional. It was such a wonderful time seeing hubby's son, our parents and extended family. It was just what we all needed, some three-on-everyone time. Truly made us appreciate how important family and friends are. Our little man truly relished every moment, no matter how different, loud, crazy and unscheduled things were. He truly rolls with the punches this kid. He's an amazing little traveller and as I always say, "The best part of every trip". From sitting on Santa's knee to reading to my sis-in-law's two dogs to running around with his cousin Luke to snowshoeing, skating, sledding and helping Nana with the laundry, he soaked it all up. It really was all about the kids and it was great.

Forgiveness: I'm sure you remember my post from a month back about the friend I apologized to after 10+ years? Well she did write me back folks and apart from being absolutely shocked and confused about what motivated me to apologize after so many years, she was her usual, kindhearted self and accepted my apology. Her reply was candid, honest and rather generous. I don't know that we'll continue our friendship but I do know that I'm glad I reached out and did the right thing.

Itchy Hives: No sooner had we spent the first night in my Aunt's gorgeous but extremely dry home in Northern Ontario, than I broke out in a mad case of what I think are hives. Now I do have a history of mild ezcema, but this outbreak took the cake. Almost like "bites" but not quite. I'm still taking benadryl but it's not as bad as it was, where it was keeping me up at night. Apart from the very dry air or perhaps the stress of having my Mom around, I haven't the foggiest where they came from. I think a trip to the doc is in order.

Shopping: Couldn't believe the prices of everything as compared to the prices of everything here. Couldn't resist overspending and overpacking a bit and feeling rather guilty that I didn't do more. Just no time. Can't believe I forgot the essentials: Kraft Peanut Butter and Old Tyme Maple Syrup.

Jet Lag: It's amazing. We adjust in NO TIME when we land but coming back is altogether opposite. Little man only slept for 2 hours on the 12-hour trip back and after getting him to bed around 7pm local time, he was up between 12 and 2:30am and slept in until 11:30am Saturday morning! Same thing again last night! I'm still kicking myself for not setting the alarm this morning and am wondering how I'm gonna manage to get him up for school at 7am if he pulls the "I'm wide awake and ready to party" again tonight.

Homeless: We are STILL looking for a place to live for the end of February and time is running out. After months of searching, I finally found a great place but the posting went up on Friday, I responded Saturday and still haven't heard back. Getting pretty stressed about this. Demand seems far greater than supply.

Well that's about all for now. Will likely come back in a few days to expand on one or more of the above topics.

Happy New Year Everyone! SJ

On our way "home" or "back"?

Well it's been a hectic, fun-filled time with family and friends back "home" in Ontario, Canada. More on that later.

But now I'm sitting in my sister-in-law's dining room, severly overweight bags packed and proudly sporting an extra 10 lbs of holiday goodness. Counting down the hours until the waterworks begin and we head down to the airport for our very long journey "home". Not sure where "home" is anymore but it sure doesn't feel like Sweden, especially after being "home" for 3 weeks..sigh.

I haven't blogged, I haven't surfed and I've barely facebooked for 3 weeks. Instead, I had meaningful conversation and loads of laughter and nasty amounts of forbidden food with most of the people that mean the most to us in this world. And it felt good. It felt real good. By this time, I'd usually be eager to hop on the plane and get home to the comfort of our space and our stuff. But this time, even after sleeping on couches and too-small beds with little privacy, I don't want to leave.

I think it's soon time for another big change in our lives. But we'll see. We'll roll with it and we'll fly.

Happy New Year to All of You!

Over and out and Merry Christmas!

Well our blessed little trio is headed home for the holidays starting tomorrow. Overworked hubby really needs a break so I'm super glad we opted to stay in a cottage instead of with the family, at least for the first 10 days of our trip.

It was difficult breaking the news to eager family at first but now they seem more excited than we are and will make sure everything's all set up before we arrive.

Hubby is a little perturbed still, wondering why we couldn't take the money and relax somewhere on a beach in the sun, sipping fruity drinks and watching our son frolick in the sand. Much like our dear friends here are doing.

Unfortunately, our dear friends have their family here. We, on the other hand, are overseas and taking precious vacation without visiting family is well, a sin. ha! I did promise him (again) that the next time, we'd take some time for ourselves. But I can't imagine Christmas without our extended family around. And I am also trying to convince myself that hubby would have been longing for family on the 25th in the middle of downing Mai Tai's.

So bags are almost packed and we'll be flying the (hopefully) friendly skies back home to those we love and cherish starting tomorrow. I'm hoping I packed enough toys and stuffs to keep the 3-year old relatively occupied on the 12-hour journey. Who am I kidding? I overpacked as usual.

Feeling bad for those who booked their trips through British Airways this holiday season though.

Wish us luck, safe travels, health, happiness and all that. And I wish you all the same and a very Merry Christmas/Holiday Season. Jenn xoxo

Forgiveness

Today I did something I've been wanting to do for 11 years but never had the courage, maturity or strength to do before now.

I apologized to an old friend.

This friend was an angel to me 11 years ago but I deceived her. I lied to her. The latter part of our friendship was in fact, shrouded in deceit. It ended with a phone call. She had found me out. And in that moment, I continued to lie to her. Her anger and tears were asphyxiating. Then, I just wanted her, and her very real accusations to go away.

Today I found her blog. Sure, over the years I would Google her every now and then to see if I could find out how she was doing. And today, I Googled her again. I found out that she's still the same beautiful and selfless person I remember her to be. I struggled. I composed an email. I struggled some more and then, I pressed "Send".

I have no idea how she will react or if she will ever write back. But today I needed to say I was sorry. I am asking for her forgiveness.

I have few regrets in life but what happened with her, or should I say, what I did to her, is one of them.

So now, I wait impatiently for a reply. But perhaps I will wait patiently. She has no reason to give me the time of day. But I have every reason to finally, after 11 years, apologize to her without expecting anything in return.