When two worlds smash together: The Aftermath

Sometimes I make some pretty darn good decisions, if I do say so myself. I took a chance, I threw my "image" to the wind and in case you haven't been following, here is what happened. I did it. I sent it to her and here is her response (buried at the bottom of the original post's comment section and given its own special post because, well, after all THAT, she deserves it). I think you'll all agree, she's a hoot in any language. Introducing the neighbour friend (gasp!) in the virtual flesh:

The neighbour friend said...
Hello stalker & friends of Jen!

This is Ms. Uppsala, the "tiny little ball of blonde fun" writing...!

First of all - Jen, you're great! It struck me that I haven't seen you since our last "suicidewalk" and now I know why... You've been avoiding me!!! You can now stop the praying - I'm staying!

I'm not running away screeming... The only one who is going to run around screeming in the nearest future is you Jen! I believe (after reading your blog) that the best way of punishing you (for even thinking that I would think less of you or that I would be upset) is to take the suicidewalks to a HIGHER level - starting tonight =)Bahahaha!

I love having you next door! When you get to know me even better you will learn that it takes more than a blog to scare me away...

After sending me the adress and the readinginstructions I was expecting the worse... I started to read and then I started to laugh, and laugh, and laugh! You're a great writer and I'm taking it as I compliment that you (sooooooooooo badly) want to be my friend!

If it had been the other way around, if I would have moved in next to you in Canada, I know that you would have given me the same chance...

So, keep on bringing your smiling face, your crazy talk and more cakes over to my place!

Love
"The peppy Swedish blonde"
PS. Bikini body, beach 2010 - we'll get there DS

A cry for help: When two worlds smash together

The word is "collide" but that word sooooo ain't strong enough for this cataclysmic event. Kinda like, I would like to use the F-word right now to really cement the severity of this situation but instead, I'll just say: I'm screwed.

F-WORD!!!!!

So remember my new neighbour friend? The one I blogged about? The peppy Swedish blonde that I was dying to snag as a friend? I think I might have used the word "prey". Oh God...

Well we're on one of our, as hubby terms them, "Suicide Walks", the other night and as usual, I'm clearly showing signs of distress and as usual she looks over with concern, "Are you ok Jenn?" And my usual response, "I'll live." She's a killer. Meaning she will either a) Kill me or b) Beat me into shape. Anyway, I'm reminiscing in my mind and idiotly (new word, you're welcome) blurt out: "Yeah, I've been writing about these torture session On. My. Blog." And the instant it came out I wanted to trap those flying words and stuff them back into my pie hole.

F-Word.

"Oh, you'll have to send it to me!"
"Uh...yeah."
"What do you write about?"
(I wrote a post about you, actually a few of them. Though they clearly don't paint you in an embarassing light, they'll make me look just a tad desperate, needy and maybe stalkery? >>new word alert) "You know, about Sweden and urhmmmm...stuff."
"Oh I should check to see if you wrote about me." She jokes.
But it's not funny. "Uhhh...yeah..(insert stilted laughter)."

Meh...I didn't take it seriously. She's probably just being her sweet self. She won't remember. Worst case scenario, I can hold her off. I'll think of something.

And then last night.
Suicide walk. Chatting.
"Hey, you didn't send me your blog yet!"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!This.is.so.not.happening.right.now." Quick, think fast Jenn:
"No, I didn't..." I said this matter-of-factly and let the last word trail. C'mon Jenn! You could've done better than that. Nope, I let it fall flat.

Now I've really gone and done it. Now she thinks I don't want to send her my blog and now she's probably wondering why and probably, definitely thinking I wrote something nasty about her.

F-Word.

Here are my options, as I see them:
a) Send her the link and pray she doesn't scroll down to read THAT POST or THIS ONE!
b) Send her THAT POST with a funny little note, "Ok, you can read my blog but better read this first". Full disclosure right? Show her my warts and hope she doesn't lock her front door and pull her blinds when she sees me walking towards her house. Will she get my humour? Remember, there is a cultural barrier here, though not that high cuz she's worked with us Americanites.
c) Delete THAT POST and THIS POST and send her the link.
d) Keep ignoring her.
e)"Damn that blogspot. Can you believe they lost my blog? I'm suing!"

Let's put this collision course into perspective. It's like having an STD right? No, I DO NOT have an STD. But say you did. You've found your soulmate. It's love at first sight. But you just KNOW you have to tell her the ugly truth about what's going on "down there". Ok, bad parallel. But maybe not.

Ok, so here's the thing. You guys know me! We have our own little private club, you guys and me. I can tell you stuff. You can tell me stuff. But it's like the sign on the clubhouse, only instead of it reading, "No Boys Allowed" it says, "No Real People Allowed", or "No People I Write About Without Them Knowing About It Allowed"

F-Word.

And now there's a girl at the door and she wants in. And this is the kind of girl all the boys would want to let in (and girls too!) but she could discover the porn collection hidden under the old filthy mattress.

I am soooo screwed. Help me (uttered in the same voice I utter "I'll live." in, which I won't).

Bloggy Buddies

Blogging has been a great creative outlet for me, a good place to vent, a means to cement friendships and a great place to meet people, even if I'll never really meet said people in real life.

So many cool things have happened since I've shuttled into the blogosphere:
- I bitched about a pair of boots and within 24 hours the manufacturers of said boots offered me a new pair!
- I got stopped by the cops (ok, not here, but in real life), blogged about how I couldn't figure out what I did wrong because the coppers couldn't speak English (which is apparently what got me out of the ticket in the first place) and a few weeks later some random person explained it to me!
- A friend and bloggy friend dedicated a piece of art to me
- I saw how cruel people can be under the guise of anonymity (namely poor MckMama). Ok so that's not "cool" but still worthy of note.
- I get all kinds of good advice from fitness experts, words of encouragement from other expats and people opening up about their weight loss challenges.
- I've been really inspired by some great writers (there are too many of you to name).

I love finding new blogs through y'all, though I try to keep the list short or i just know I'll get swallowed up in the vortex. I try to comment on all the blogs I follow and I do have my favourites.

This one blog in particular is pretty awesome, both with its content and the author's mad writing skills. But here's the thing. For the many discussions I've joined on this blog and the many responses I've received from my comments, this person has never ONCE commented on my blog. Not once. And this person's blog isn't HUGE a la MckMama or Perez Hilton. This person has a strong following and averages about 20 comments per post. I'm kinda bummed about it really.

But that's just it isn't it? Though this person can surely relate to some of what I write about, this person might not like what I write, feels they don't need to reciprocate or just plain doesn't wanna. Who knows? It's another "cool" thing about bloggyland. You put it out there, for whatever reason, and you just never know what you'll get back. A post you wrote in 10 minutes for fun while BBQ'ing up some steaks could turn into 50 comments. A post you thought would go viral gets 1 comment from someone in China with a cure for loneliness, hot Asian chicks. An innocent post on global warming gets infiltrated by a dozen right-wingers telling you and everyone else it's a farce. Well you see where I'm going.

It's Saturday morning. Little Man is watching the new Dora videos he got from his Nana and I hear the water running upstairs, meaning hubby is up. Enjoy your weekend!

Ps. Yes, a lot of name dropping in this post. Thank me later when my 19 followers all head over to discover the awesomness of your blogs and the traffic crashes your servers.

Hubby cracked my blog

I have been complaining and rather loudly, that my blog design sucks and hinting to my uber talented hubby to do something about it. As you can see, he has begun. It's a work in progress but definitely headed in the right direction ;-).

Sorry I've been a bit silent these past few days but work has been all-consuming, but in a good way. See, hubby and I are making it our mission to turn this little mobile technology company of ours into something big. It's important for him, for us and for our future. I've been a bit lazy lately, mindlessly surfing, facebook stalking, blog-reading and commenting.

Not that any of those things are "bad" but "everything in moderation" and it's become a bit excessive. So...I have refocused and put my nose back to the grindstone. It feels good to know that my efforts are having a direct impact on the company's success and it feels great to look forward to working every morning and again, every night with the little man goes down.

So before I go grab my 3rd cup of coffee and start pushing my press release down the throats of media and analysts, here's a fun little quote uttered by my 3-year old last night while sitting on the pot:

"Mommy! It's coming!!!! MOMMY, IT'S COMMMMMMIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG!"

My 100th Post!

How cool is this? I just realized it. Wasn't keeping track until I saw that big #99 staring at me when I logged in. Now, how to celebrate? I think I'll take a page from Mon's book and do a 100 Random Things About Me Post. Oh and I should take this opportunity to thank her for encouraging me to start blogging. Hers was the first blog I'd ever visited, apart from Perezhilton.com (yes, I just freely admitted that...for shame!).
100 Random Things About Me
1. I have no idea how I'm gonna make it to 100 random things.
2. I've had 3 dogs in my life: Buster, Boomer and Dobber. I will never have another and will be content loving everyone else's mutt. Too much heartbreak.
3. Hubby is 16 years older than me and Newsflash: Age DOES matter. But in more good ways than bad. Like, I never would have discovered Led Zeppelin, Monty Python or Love Story!
4. I am a chronic procrastinator but am getting much better.
5. I look up to my younger brother. He is my polar opposite in so many ways and we have a richer relationship because of it. Though we get on each other's nerves FAST (or rather, I get on HIS).
6. My 23-year old stepson rocks but he needs a good kick in the arse these days. He's super smart and is a great teacher.
7. I discovered fancy food late in life. Thai, Sushi, Indian. I grew up on meat and potatoes.
8. One of my biggest pet peeves is unnecessary facial hair on women. Seriously ladies, take some wax to that mess of fur.
9. One of my all-time favourite movies is Annie.
10. I spent 2 and a half years in Montenegro. It was the greatest adventure of my life...not counting the 3 year old.
11. My son has more stamps in his passport than most people I know.
12. My son had a nanny for the first 2 and a half years of his life. We were all so spoiled. We love her like family.
13. I'd rather clean the toilet than do the laundry.
14. Moving to Sweden was a bigger culture shock than Montenegro, go figure.
15. I've had the same best friend since I was 10.
16. I've had the opportunity to do a lot of travelling but have yet to set foot inside The Magic Kingdom.
17. I love fried balogne, baloney, balogna..however you spell it, smother some ketchup on it please!
18. I was my high school's Valedictorian.
19. I wish I could play an instrument, the clarinet doesn't count.
20. I'm waiting to meet Will Ferrel. His wife is Swedish, his kids have Swedish names and they have a summer home here in Sweden. We're gonna be bestest buddies one day (stated in my most crazed stalker voice).
21. I once asked a blind guitar player, Jeff Healey, for an autograph and then asked him to make it out to my brother, to which he replied, "You realize I'm blind, right?"
22. I've seen The Rolling Stones in concert three times.
23. I loathe taking the bus anywhere but have relented thanks to a very excited 3-year old.
24. I believe in God and in Jesus but haven't been to church in ages, and I feel bad about that.
25. Some of my most cherished friends were random strangers I met on a beach one day. I spent very little time with them but we tell each other we love each other.
26. I am outgoing, bordering on obnoxious.
27. I.Love.Lamp (only a select few will get this reference)

Ok, I know you were all hoping for 100 but:
28. My mother says I have ADD.

So, in honour of my 100th Blog Post, there are 28 Random Things About Me. I've sure enjoyed getting to know all of you this past year and have really appreciated the following:

1. Reading your amazing blogs and participating in some fun discussions.
2. Your thoughtful comments and support.
3. Your willingness to come back again and again, even though my blog has to be one of the ugliest, most disorganized out there and I really have no THEME (must be the ADD).
God love you all! SwedishJenn xoxo

To Blog is to Berate?

Oy. I still consider myself a blogging virgin. Only been at this for a little over a year now and still haven't truly found my "voice". But that parallels my life in general, or more specifically, my ability to write or speak or debate with expertise and conviction. I stay away from anything controversial or "hot" because, well, I take criticism or anyone "calling me out" as a personal attack. In a nutshell, I long to be liked. I'm scared too. Scared that if I take a stand on something, I won't be able to properly defend myself in the event of an attack.

I have come to admire those bloggers who are smarter than me. Or at least far more skilled at conveying their thoughts and opinions clearly, succinctly and often times, with humour than I am. There are some uber talented writers out there. I love reading thought-provoking posts that turn into discussions and debates. But what I love more, is how the blogger justifies him/herself and their convictions. I'm a star-struck fan at times.

One of these blogs is "A Swedish American in Sweden". This guy can really write and he's only in his early twenties I think. He has amassed quite a following of expats and locals alike. He talks about the cultural differences, his struggles with them and his opinions. His posts are candid, humourous and enlightening. He recently wrote an amazing post on his love/hate relationship with Sweden and it sparked a firestorm. Most were comments of support, "I hear ya. Well done on the blog. Thanks for helping me through the transition, etc." but along came two detractors, harsh critics, whom I assume are rather "schooled". They bit back HARD on a post where I saw no controversy. And the discussion quickly degenerated into mud-slinging and some name calling.

It's riveting to read..I think he's up to over 50 comments now. As much as I felt sorry for HairySwede, I was extremely impressed with his ability to defend his post. I'm sure I sound like I'm gushing. Anyhow, I only jumped into the fray a few times and as per the above description of myself, rather carefully. I was in over my head.

It truly amazes me how blogging allows us to break away from conventional social graces and say exactly what's on our mind, speak to others the way we wouldn't speak face-to-face and sometimes say some hurtful things without thought or feeling for others. It doesn't amaze me as much as it saddens me.

I will try, and subconsciously have tried, to govern myself the way I would if I were indeed speaking to the person. If I don't like what someone has to say, I am careful with the way I voice my dissent and if I feel that strongly against someone's blog, well I can always hit the "Next" button. That person has the right to post whatever he/she wants and if I'm clearly a "hater", then why am I continuing to lurk?

That said, as a blogger you are opening yourself up to the world. And you need to take what comes with it, the good and the bad. And people have every right to question you and/or disagree. For me, it's the way in which this is all handled sometimes that frustrates me. I would like to think, regardless of culture, there is a base moral standard we all (should) try to uphold, that should apply equally to the anonymity of cyberspace. Anonymity should not give us permission to disavow common courtesy, respect, integrity.

"Why can't we all just along?"

And the award goes to....

ME! Yup, got my first blog award today. And you're thinking..."uh, yeah, so?" And I'm thinking, I won something! I can't even remember what it's called I'm so delirious with excitement. And now with all the publicity sure to come out of this (interviews, calls from Perez Hilton for blogging tips, the Ellen Show) , I'm freaking out because, well, my blog sucks. I mean, I don't have a cool design, I write about no one subject in particular and I'm so unpredictable with the type and frequency of my posts.

Dang...I'm certainly no MckMama (Queen of the Mommy Bloggers) or Hairy Swede (my personal favourite expat in Sweden blog).

The song "Under Pressure" by Queen is playing as background music in my head now. Or maybe it's the version with Vanilla Ice and those twins, Jedward?, from Britain's Got Talent or X-Factor or some show with Simon Cowell.

While I try to figure out where to go from here, here's a copy of my acceptance speech, which can be found in its original form on September Mom's blog, My Voice My View (the bestower of the honour):

This is my very first ever blog award. I'm so humbled and so unprepared. "You like me. You REALLY like me!" Ok, here goes..off the cuff:
I would like to thank:
- God and Jesus, because well, those are the first guys you thank when you win awards.
- My darling husband, who cleaned the garbage out of the car this morning when I asked him to.
- My deliciously beautiful 3-year old son, who has so much joie de vivre in his compact littleness and gives me so many reasons to smile everyday.
- The blogosphere: I discovered you not that long ago and I thank you for sharing your lives and inspiring mine.
- My extremely small group of blog followers, or perhaps I should term you, "Tight Knit". Thanks for putting up with the ADHD that is my "blog".
- September Mom for graciously bestowing this award upon undeserving me, for commenting on my blog and for her the posts that keep me coming back for more.
Cue music...