Sunday, April 1, 2012

Coming or Going

Life hasn't been easy peasy these days. Thoughts of where we'll be come July 1st are dragging down each day, a wet blanket dripping on any rays of sunshine.

Over the past 6 years, we've called seven different houses 'home' and I'm growing so tired. Fatigued from the packing and unpacking, the organizing, the chaos, the house-hunting, the not-knowing. But most of all, I'm just so fed up watching my poor husband slave away for a minimum of 12 hours each day with little light at the end of the tunnel and no appreciation from anyone but me. I want to scream out about how unfair it all is. And I'm also paralyzed as I don't know how to begin to 'fix it'.

So I sit and brood or occupy myself with mindless activities and do what I've done for the past 6 years, wait. And I know it's not productive and I know it's only increasing my frustration but I really don't know what to do. Though I do know what I want. And that's for my husband's hard work, passion and devotion to provide him the freedom he so rightly deserves.

Everyday that goes by, we inch closer and closer to being forced to make a decision. Do we stay or do we move back to Canada? Though I have to admit, life in Sweden has grown on me these past three years, we've been overseas for six years and our extended family is back home in Canada. And we need each other.

Thank God for the Forever Rainbow that is our wonderful Little Man, who excitedly called out to his father today, "Daddy, look in the backyard. There's an onion! Just joking. April Fool's!"