Of Berries, Bowls and Grass

So I have the boy home for 2 weeks with me while he transitions between old, summer and new daycare. Finding it hard to concentrate on this post as So You Think You Can Dance is on...

Anyhoo...what to do with a super active 3-year old who recently decided he was soooo over naptime! Not that I’M on vacation...still trying to hit the computer to keep up with email, writing press releases and doing all the household stuff. Boy it’ll be a nasty two weeks. Watch out men...the claws are coming out and there will be wounds...

Not sure what inspired me...likely came from a place of pure desperation. No longer could I let the son sit through another showing of Horton Hears a Who, gulping down his nth juice box...the pangs of guilt and echoes of “Bad Mommy” were too hard to ignore. I hauled out three plastic kitchen bowls, filled them with water, sat them on the deck with the newly purchased bag of dinosaurs and let him at it. Add a handful of some nameless edible berries growing on a tiny tree in our backyard and you have a recipe for a good hour of fun.

Pretty amazing how the simplest everyday items thrown together can entertain. And the shiny and expensive bicycle with training wheels sits in the storage space.

Does potty training EVER end? Six months ago I was SuperMom (in my own mind), having successfully trained my two and a half year old to poo and pee on the potty seat on the toilet. Ok, so it was an excrutiating week of him perched comfortably on the toilet, me ass on bench in front of the toilet and both of us reading and singing. Both of us waiting, him patiently and me not-so-patiently for the sound of a tinkle or a plop. Not without its challenges, we made it through sheer perseverance and determination. There have been, are and continue to be some notable setbacks. His bladder and bowel seem to be direct lines to stress for him, so accidents coincided with major changes in his life. We also figured out that his potty seat (the kind that fits under the toilet lid) is like a security blanket or a dodo. We literally have to cart the thing around with us everywhere we go. Forgetting it, even 15 minutes into a drive, results in a U-turn.

That said, someone’s Wee Wee (yes, we call it a wee, wee not a penis, sorry) is growing and when he really needs to GO, potty seat or not, it’s everywhere BUT in the toilet. So the time has come for the little boy to learn to peepee like a big man. To make a long story short, little man is traumatized at the sight of making a MESS. So attempt #1, which again, went everywhere but in the toilet, resulted in something much worse than a wee mess...a complete meltdown.

We had originally thought it was about peeing standing up. We were wrong. Little man discovered in the last day or so the joys of the great outdoors and “Mama, peepee on the GRASS”. At first, we were elated. “Look, he’s peeing standing up!” And then I recalled an episode of Super Nanny with some bat shit crazy kids, one of whom (around 4) refused to pee in the toilet and only peed in the bushes. No WAY was I going to be THAT Mom. Look, I’m already THAT Mom on a lot of fronts so I don’t need another notch in my Tsk, Tsk Mommy utility belt.

So today after a few pees outside, lamely justified by the fact that we were INDEED outside, I dug my heels in. When little man asked to “Peepee in the Grass Mommy” while inside, I took the little prince by the hand and led him to the throne room. Me kneeling on the bathroom floor, him standing on the IKEA bench, trying to step off, protesting with grunts and words, trying to hold IT in. At this point I’m supporting most of his weight and am sweating so profusely that hubby started opening and closing the bathroom door quickly to fan me off. “Just like on the grass. You can do it. Good boy.” At this point the team of us are in there trying to talk him down and the pee out. It was bad.

And just when I was about to run for the grass, a glorious stream...You never heard two big people make such a fuss over urine before, trust me. Our little Prince’s last words before lights out tonight were, “Bravo me”.

We’ll keep you posted. Pic coming for this post once i find the doohickey that connects my mobile to my laptop