Over the Hill

In so many ways. Hubby turned 51. I told him he was officially over the hill and that we were gonna enjoy the ride "down" together :-). So far, it's been rather bumpy. I struggle to remember all of those motivational quotes that resonate with me lately. Try to figure out how I can apply them to our life. Don't get me wrong here. We have a great one. We're all healthy, we have what we need (and even some stuff we don't), a beautiful place to live, two great sons and a supportive extended family, and a job we're passionate about.

But sometimes it feels as though we're chasing that always elusive toy mouse. Just when we think we've caught up to him, he darts under the couch. How long will it take for that thing's battery to run out anyway? Because it seems like we're waiting for just that. For us, lately, it's been about the destination, not the journey. I need some perspective. I need a lightbulb or an Oprah-esque AHA! moment. Care to be the catalyst?

Not sure how much hard work has to do with "success" these days. No one I know works harder than my husband. Ok, I'm sure there are people but seriously, this man is a machine. Unfortunately, if he keeps going at this rate, the screws will loosen and the machine will malfunction. I feel helpless. No wisdom to impart, no real "help" to offer in the ways he really needs it (ok, I suppose I could be writing and editing some docs right now but I need my blog therapy).

My husband is passionate about what we're doing. He can get people excited and motivated. He will do whatever it takes. He's smart. He's charming. But he also can't do it all. He needs help and I feel lost as to how to help him. At the end of the day, I want the good guy to win. To get what he deserves. To be able to put his feet up (not fully, cuz he goes mad when he has nothing to do), to relax a little and to be able to say to himself, "I did it!" He has accomplished so much already and under crazy circumstances but he's not there yet. And I'm not referring to money.

Entrepreneurs are like Parents,  the greatest satisfaction comes from seeing your baby grow up and blossom into a wonderful adult. You know that you were instrumental in its development, its success, its beauty. You nurtured it, spent countless sleepless nights worrying about it, you were there when it took its first baby steps, watched as it hit milestone after milestone.

I want my husband, the Dad, the Entrepreneur to see his baby graduate, to swell with emotion as he looks back with pride. To know all the sacrifices he made, the blood, sweat and tears were worth it. He has done it as the Dad, he will do it again and he WILL do it as the Entrepreneur.

Faith, Hope and Love, Jenn xo

God grant me the strength to make choices

A Wise Friend of mine once told me that life is all about choices. Sometimes we find ourselves saying, "But I don't have a choice." Like take for instance parents who say that phrase in relation to going out into the workforce as opposed to what they really want to do, which is stay at home with their kids. The argument could be that the extra income is needed to support the family. But you could choose to stay at home. You could cut back, move from your big house to an apartment, etc. But perhaps you value the big house and trips and well, food, so you make the choice to go to work.  Ok, so getting an illness is NOT a choice but how we deal with it...is. Some choices are certainly much harder to make than others and I think this all depends on your reality. Am I making sense here?

Well lately we are questioning our choices as a family. We are being taken advantage of and we feel boxed into our current situation, like we really don't have a choice as we do what we do and sacrifice what we sacrifice in the name of long-term security. But I have come to realize, thanks to thinking back on the philosophizing (made that word up i think) of Wise Friend, that we do have a choice. We can stand up for Us, what We want as a family and make a choice. We can choose to take back control over our lives and deal with the consequences, whatever they may be. Or we can choose the "easier" path, the one where we do nothing and wait with our fingers crossed. Where every day that goes by, a little bit of our patience, compassion, innocence and confidence is stripped away.

I can choose to say NO to continuing down a path I am not comfortable walking down. We can choose to demand respect. We can decide to pack up and leave this country tomorrow. We can. But every choice comes with its risks and rewards and each of those must be carefully weighed. But at the end of the day, it's simply a choice that you make. I think making the choice and as Wise Friend says, shouting it out to the Universe, is just as hard as dealing with the aftermath. Because if your choice is a difficult one to make, you likely already know the consequences and are mentally/physically preparing yourselves to deal with them. To summon the courage to say, "That's it. This is what we're doing. End of story," is as intimidating as it is liberating.

If you're now living out your latest choice and it's making you feel a combination of stressed, guilty, overworked, undervalued, bitter, resentful, angry, lonely, sad, confused, lost, little, weak, demeaned, lied to, etc. well, I bet it's time you made a different choice. And now I hear this verse in my head, an appropriate anthem really: "We're not gonna take it. No, we ain't gonna take it. We're not gonna take it, anymore."

ps. I just found out from hubby that the song lyrics I referenced are from a song by Twisted Sister. I NEVER would have guessed that in a million years. So, how cosmic do you think it is that the Wise Friend I'm referring to has a blog called, "Spiral Sisters" and that her post today prompted this essay?! Cue that weird music that plays when something is just plain freaky.

Can one email change my world?

I don't know but I gave it a shot today.
I emailed one of the wealthiest, most influential people not only in our industry, but in the world.
I pitched our company and our product in the most no-holds barred, vulnerable and honest way I could think of.
It was pretty raw but it came from the heart, from passion and from desperation and frustration.

First of all, I emailed his company cuz I know no one who would have the guy's actual email address. Actually, I sorta do, but I couldn't bring myself to ask.
Secondly, I am dead sure this company receives thousands of "please fund our venture" emails every.single.day.
Thirdly, I am sure one out of every 10 was worded in just the kind of way mine was...making it about as unique as a mosquito. There's nothing unique about those f'ers.

Sometimes you just have to take risks, no matter the consequences.
Like, what if the guy or one of his cronies writes me back with, "WTF is this? Are you serious? Did you actually just tell me that you're rambling and are tired of churning out BS?" Yes, Yes, I did.
Or what if they report me to my superiors (which would be my husband I guess).
Or maybe they think it's hilarious and make it public.
Or maybe they really don't find it funny at all and somehow, someway it intercepts a business deal. "Oh, yeah, I know that company. They're a buncho whack jobs over there. Look at this email some girl sent me."
But in that moment, I really didn't give a damn. In that moment, I felt compelled to reach out, take a risk and throw caution to the wind as they say.

What's the worst that could happen? See above. What's the best case scenario? We get a meeting...and more. What's my dream scenario? HE happens to be in the office that day. Cup of Joe in hand, he's bored and decides to peruse-on-through the email inquiries. He's in a good mood. He happens upon my email. He doesn't care that it's 3:30am my time, cuz why should he? You take a call from this guy if you're having a kidney removed. He calls. I answer. He tells me who he is. I say something predictable like, "Yeah right." He proceeds to prove to me that he is who he says he is. It doesn't take much really. He tells me he's sending his jet to pick me up in the morning and to be at the airport. And the rest is legendary.

What's the likely scenario? I get a form letter back or no letter at all. I already got a "Thank you for your submission. We get gazillions a day. If we like what we see, we'll get back to you." auto-response.
That could be all I ever get. But hey, I tried. And you can't fault a girl for trying.