Monday, February 8, 2010

The Not-so-imaginary ventriloquist horsy

What did I get myself into? The other day the little man and I were playing in the upstairs hallway. I was growing tired of flying our hallway airplane and watching pretend movies on the wall while constantly being disturbed by the pretend stewardess and her incessant questions about what we would like to eat/drink so I picked up a horse hand puppet and of course, got myself in deeper.

Remember Bubba from Forest Gump? "Fried shrimp, shrimp gumbo, shrimp INSERT DISH". How about Billy Bob Thornton playing that creepy slow dude in that movie, Slingblade, that's it! Well combine the two voices and you get my horsy voice. For some reason it's the only voice that will come out of my half-closed mouth when the horsy moves his mouth. Because I was obviously testing out my ventriloquist skills with said hand puppet. And with the exception of being unable to figure out how to say any words with "M" or "B" without moving my lips and giving myself away, I was pretty impressed.

The boy bought it. Three days later and he's still chasing me around the house, "Mama put it on RIGHT NOW". I think it's great my son has an imaginary friend. I don't think it's so great that it's permanently attached to my right hand. Or that it has to read books to him, watch movies with him, play Dinosaurs with him or watch him poo. In fact, the only break I get is when he's bugging my husband to play with his iPhone (they really have awesome learning games for kids in the Appstore).

The little man doesn't tear up or cry very often. But when I refuse to play horsy, he erupts. And I have to refuse. Mama has dinner to make, laundry to fold, a life that consists of me speaking in my Mama voice. My mouth is seriously sore.

So what's a cowgirl to do? This shows no signs of slowing. "WOAH Horsy!"


septembermom said...

You sound like me. I get these new ideas for imaginary play sometimes. I'll wind up being expected to "perform" the game over and over again. You're a fun mom Jenn! Your son sounds like he loves being with you :)

Den said...

This is SO funny! Cracking up just thinking about you, Mrs Horsy... X

Mon said...

The girl-child had this tiny book with a bee finger puppet, that became way too popular once I gave it a voice.

I see now just how serious this problem can become.

Ok, mute puppets only admitted.

SwedishJenn said...

This is sooo NOT funny Den. SeptemberMom, it was "fun" for like 15 minutes. It became the bane of my existence soon after. "Mama needs coffee first before she can play horsy." and then the dreaded, "But WHY???" followed by a few tears. Short of incinerating the puppet, how do I end this? Or at least curtail it?

LostInTraslation...Literally said...

hahahaah you poor thing you.

I donät have much experience with kids. But i practically raised my little sister when she was a baby. so I sorta have an idea of the pain you are going through. poor thing.

well at least in the summer you wont have to worry about that, all you need is a sprinkler, and a sunny day. :P

why dont you let him make a turkey farm with his hands?? you know the ones we used to make when we were kinds in Canada,, drawing our hands and making them into turkeys!!! hahahaha!