So I've spent the past two days at our local watering hole, the kind that has two outdoor pools and double that inside. My sanity for the summer is a summer pass for the fam. We're actually headed there soon so had better keep this post short.
For the past 2 days I've worn a one-piece I.could.be.training.for.the.Olympics Speedo-type suit in a sea of bikinis. I stick out and for all the wrong reasons. I just cannot bring myself to uhmm "blend in" with my I.had.a.baby.(4.years.ago) belly and other flabby parts. But in my very aware state these past few days, I've noticed something. I have not seen a perfect body there. And I've been looking. Wow, she's gorgeous...varicose veins. I wish I had her chest...washboard ASS. She had a baby 6 months ago?... Cellulite. It's been a fun flaw finding mission. Nice eh? Yes, the girl that looks like she might have broken some kind of world record...when she was young and fit of course and wearing a suit 3 sizes smaller...is judging you to make herself feel better for feeling bad.
So today, I bit the bullet and realizing that there are way fatter fatties than this fatty, I squeezed myself into a bikini and sauntered my pale jellybelly, sunburnt shoulders and nasty burn lines poolside without a care in the world. Seriously. Judging by many of those I'm judging, who are they to judge?
It's amazing how much another 1.5-2 day carb fest has set me back. Seems like weight piles on in equal proportions to the bad foods I'm consuming....urghhh. 1 step forward and 2 back. But at least I know now that I just plain can't cheat without suffering the consequences. But again, after 2 days off the exercise, a pancake here an ice cream bar there, I got back down on all fours and started reblasting that butt.
So WAJ
Yesterday: Can't remember but it was good.
Today
Brekky: 2 hard boiled eggs
Snack: Apple + a morsel of little man's ice cream. minor infraction in the grand scheme of things.
Lunch: Leftover hamburgers from the night before. Cold.
Dinner: Fried Baloney + salad! YUM.
Exercise: Butt blaster and Ab workout x 2. Gonna try to tack on some legs tonight too.
Ps. Dear Sweden: In North America, we have these barriers between the inside and outside world called S-C-R-E-E-N-S. They are made of some kind of light meshy metal full of teeny, tiny holes. They are meant to let the air in while keeping the bugs out. Look them up.
Up to the mountain
8 months ago
4 comments:
Jenn, something like this?
http://www.kronfonster.se/myggnat.htm
Yes Thomas!!!!!!! Why oh why does nobody have them here? Or is just every house I've lived in and/or visited?
I bet you look great! Good for you. Strut your stuff in that bikini. I do some pool watching too.
you're so brave!! doesn't matter what you look like, if you believe you're worse for wear it is so difficult to bare so much flesh. i'm not as brave as you. i don't worry about my weight like i used to, but baring it all out is another thing altogether.
i've put on some MORE, and this amount i'm NOT happy with. it's been the stuck-without-me-time-with-sick-child syndrome that drove me to the pantry.
we'll be making some screens for our windows. in Oz everyone has them.
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