Toddlerisms Volume 1

I was inspired by Hyacynth's recent post with her favourite toddlerisms from vacay. I really did LOL. And I found myself LOLing at our little boy an awful lot this week and thinking, "I gotta write that down." Here are a few special ones:

Mommy says something to the man in Swedish. Little man responds matter-of-factly in a DUH-tone, "Mamma, you're a Mamma, not a kid!" In other words, don't speak my language.

Said when I do something funny: "Mamma, you're crazy." That's pretty accurate.

"Mamma, are you happy?" Now that's deep.

"The chasm of dead." It's the chasm of death actually. Quote from Ice Age 3.

"Mamma, be a pig please." Oh, well, if you insist. Wanting my hand to assume the Pig hand puppet and proceed talking out of the corner of my mouth in my best Pig voice.

"Dada, do you want my new iPhone?" Translation: I want to play with your new iPhone, get my snotty hands all over the screen and get you sick right before your business trip this week.

"Mamma, LOOK! It's a BIG one." Pointing at whatever he just evacuated into the toilet bowl. I know...ewwwwww, but still funny.

"Mamma FARTED!" Uhmmmm...no, I most certainly did NOT fart. That was you/the washing machine/INSERT appliance/lay blame.

I just know I'm forgetting some killer quotes but will save them for Volume 2.

Somewhere warm?

Ahhhh...wouldn't that be nice. Yesterday, the little man and I went puddle jumping all the way to the park. He had his snowsuit on but with the sun shining and a balmy 5 degrees, he could have gone with his rain suit and should have. His winter boots are NOT waterproof, as evidenced by me having to wring them out when we got home. Spring was on its way...hooray! We could see the grass and realized we have a deck in our front yard.

Today, it started to snow. Bucket loads. It "blizzarded" (made that up) all day long. Just when I was ready to pack away the winter gear, the snow is now back to knee deep. In my hometown in Nova Scotia, it was 20 degrees yesterday and apparently people were sporting shorts.

But I say it's "Out like a lion" here in Uppsala. Only because I have to believe that next weekend we'll be puddle jumping again.

And in a few short months we'll be heading to a REAL summer in Montenegro. C'mon JULY!

A Swedish Friend? Say it ain't so!

Last weekend hubby was making snow forts for the little guy in our front yard when he noticed a blonde woman 2 doors down and caught her eye. She stared, he smiled, waved and said, "Hi. We're new here." She stared some more and said, "Wait right there." Hubby didn't have his glasses on. 30 second later she was hugging him.

Our new neighbour just so happens to be a girl we worked with over 10 years ago! Don't get too weirded out. We were working for a Swedish company at the time but living in Canada. Still...holy crap!

I drove in the driveway, back from a quick trip to the store and hubby runs over with his shovel, "You'll never guess who our neighbour is!" She's 2 years younger than me and has a daughter a little less than a year younger than ours and a 6-year old son. SCORE!

I saw her a few hours later over the fence and we started chatting. I said, "We need to get together for coffee." And then I thought that the likelihood of that happening was slim to none and so I got bold and proclaimed, "We're gonna head over to the park tomorrow morning. We'll come knocking if you want to come."

The next morning, I fretted and panicked a little, trying to figure out a good time to knock. 10 is too early. 10:30? Nah...10:45? perfect. Far enough after breakfast and far enough away from lunch. Done.

I rang, we walked, we talked, we took the kids sledding. Turns out she is Ms. Uppsala and I met half the neighbourhood in the short distance between our houses and the park. Striking GOLD!

It was fun. I tried my best to balance between, "Please be my friend. I'm so desperate for more estrogen in my life!" and "Yeah, whatever." We parted ways and I thought..."How will I get up the nerve to ask her out again?" Yup, just like dating.

And then Thursday night, I got a text around 8:45pm. Noone texts me that late. It was her, asking if I like Grey's Anatomy and if I wanted to hop over to her house to watch it over a glass of wine. Say WHAT? I've never watched that show, but I'd watch a documentary on Dairy Farms in Minnesota if it meant snagging a friend in Sweden.

It was fun. Even with a little wine in me, I think I managed to leave a good impression. We know many of the same people and she's a tiny little ball of blonde fun.

Now it's the weekend and it's on me again. hmmmmm...coffee and a playdate here or keep it neutral at the park? I've already decided that when hubby is away next week, I plan to have a "Come over for a glass of wine after the kids are asleep" night with her and some mutual "friends".

Seriously freaking out here. Olive branches have been extended. Now it's up to me to evenly space out the doses of "Jenn" for fear of scaring off my prey. Please wish me luck and pray I catch my prey!

Weigh-in Wednesday (on Thurs.): Week 5 of 10

Sorry I'm late guys. I have a good excuse. First, insanely busy with work. Second, (I'm scared to say this for fear of jinxing it), I "think" I may have made a friend...a REAL FRIEND...a friend in SWEDEN!. I can barely contain my excitement. She invited me over to watch Grey's Anatomy last night over a glass of wine!!!! More on that later.

THE SAME. The scale has been going up and down all week. I was even dangerously close to my pre-Christmas weight at one point and then the numbers settled back into their favourite place...74.6.

I gotta say though, I've been doing rather well this week..likely cuz I have NO TIME to listen to the voices in the cupboard. Sure I have no actual NUMBERS to show for it but in addition to the nightly interpretive dance routines, we've added weights. The weights consist of my 18.4 kilo son wrapping his body around my leg (interchangeably) and forcing me to drag him across the slippery wood floor. And then (sooo dating myself here), last night I remembered how Bill Cosby used give the neighborhood kids horsy rides on his knee while he bounced them up and down and around, even the cute little fat kid. Typing that out these days sounds very wrong so many years later, but do you remember?

So my knee has been a saddle and my thigh, the horse. And now with this "potential" NF (maybe it will work better if I don't spell it out), I can conquer the world!

Have any friends (besides US of course) that offer great support on your weight loss journey? How about the one or two "friends" who aren't supportive AT ALL?

PS: Somebody reading this post has hit a major milestone: Fitting into her old jeans!!!!! C'mon tell us your secrets Ms. Weigh-in Wednesday!

Hubby cracked my blog

I have been complaining and rather loudly, that my blog design sucks and hinting to my uber talented hubby to do something about it. As you can see, he has begun. It's a work in progress but definitely headed in the right direction ;-).

Sorry I've been a bit silent these past few days but work has been all-consuming, but in a good way. See, hubby and I are making it our mission to turn this little mobile technology company of ours into something big. It's important for him, for us and for our future. I've been a bit lazy lately, mindlessly surfing, facebook stalking, blog-reading and commenting.

Not that any of those things are "bad" but "everything in moderation" and it's become a bit excessive. So...I have refocused and put my nose back to the grindstone. It feels good to know that my efforts are having a direct impact on the company's success and it feels great to look forward to working every morning and again, every night with the little man goes down.

So before I go grab my 3rd cup of coffee and start pushing my press release down the throats of media and analysts, here's a fun little quote uttered by my 3-year old last night while sitting on the pot:

"Mommy! It's coming!!!! MOMMY, IT'S COMMMMMMIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG!"

My 100th Post!

How cool is this? I just realized it. Wasn't keeping track until I saw that big #99 staring at me when I logged in. Now, how to celebrate? I think I'll take a page from Mon's book and do a 100 Random Things About Me Post. Oh and I should take this opportunity to thank her for encouraging me to start blogging. Hers was the first blog I'd ever visited, apart from Perezhilton.com (yes, I just freely admitted that...for shame!).
100 Random Things About Me
1. I have no idea how I'm gonna make it to 100 random things.
2. I've had 3 dogs in my life: Buster, Boomer and Dobber. I will never have another and will be content loving everyone else's mutt. Too much heartbreak.
3. Hubby is 16 years older than me and Newsflash: Age DOES matter. But in more good ways than bad. Like, I never would have discovered Led Zeppelin, Monty Python or Love Story!
4. I am a chronic procrastinator but am getting much better.
5. I look up to my younger brother. He is my polar opposite in so many ways and we have a richer relationship because of it. Though we get on each other's nerves FAST (or rather, I get on HIS).
6. My 23-year old stepson rocks but he needs a good kick in the arse these days. He's super smart and is a great teacher.
7. I discovered fancy food late in life. Thai, Sushi, Indian. I grew up on meat and potatoes.
8. One of my biggest pet peeves is unnecessary facial hair on women. Seriously ladies, take some wax to that mess of fur.
9. One of my all-time favourite movies is Annie.
10. I spent 2 and a half years in Montenegro. It was the greatest adventure of my life...not counting the 3 year old.
11. My son has more stamps in his passport than most people I know.
12. My son had a nanny for the first 2 and a half years of his life. We were all so spoiled. We love her like family.
13. I'd rather clean the toilet than do the laundry.
14. Moving to Sweden was a bigger culture shock than Montenegro, go figure.
15. I've had the same best friend since I was 10.
16. I've had the opportunity to do a lot of travelling but have yet to set foot inside The Magic Kingdom.
17. I love fried balogne, baloney, balogna..however you spell it, smother some ketchup on it please!
18. I was my high school's Valedictorian.
19. I wish I could play an instrument, the clarinet doesn't count.
20. I'm waiting to meet Will Ferrel. His wife is Swedish, his kids have Swedish names and they have a summer home here in Sweden. We're gonna be bestest buddies one day (stated in my most crazed stalker voice).
21. I once asked a blind guitar player, Jeff Healey, for an autograph and then asked him to make it out to my brother, to which he replied, "You realize I'm blind, right?"
22. I've seen The Rolling Stones in concert three times.
23. I loathe taking the bus anywhere but have relented thanks to a very excited 3-year old.
24. I believe in God and in Jesus but haven't been to church in ages, and I feel bad about that.
25. Some of my most cherished friends were random strangers I met on a beach one day. I spent very little time with them but we tell each other we love each other.
26. I am outgoing, bordering on obnoxious.
27. I.Love.Lamp (only a select few will get this reference)

Ok, I know you were all hoping for 100 but:
28. My mother says I have ADD.

So, in honour of my 100th Blog Post, there are 28 Random Things About Me. I've sure enjoyed getting to know all of you this past year and have really appreciated the following:

1. Reading your amazing blogs and participating in some fun discussions.
2. Your thoughtful comments and support.
3. Your willingness to come back again and again, even though my blog has to be one of the ugliest, most disorganized out there and I really have no THEME (must be the ADD).
God love you all! SwedishJenn xoxo

Weigh-in Wednesday: Week 4 of 10

Yup, we're almost at the halfway mark and I'm still 14 pounds shy of my goal weight..sigh. Still down 4. Though a few days ago, I was down 6 and then I celebrated and went back up.

Why do celebrations always need to be dependent on alcohol? It sets me back every time. And then there's the whole sitting on my ass problem. I know, I know. I promised to exercise and I am pleased to report that the past few nights, I have indeed been getting a workout. Slightly unconventional and all thanks to the 3-year old's obsession with ABBA.

Picture me doing interpretive dance to the first 20 seconds of every song on ABBA Gold, from Dancing Queen to Mamma Mia (the all-time favourite), Super Trooper, The Winner Takes it All and straight on through to Waterloo...couldn't escape if I wanted to...seriously (how clever was that last line?). And most of the time I'm dancing by myself while the little man sits on the floor and presses the Next button continuously. At least 10 rounds. I'm sweating in sock feet all the while thinking about how I'm gonna break this to my blog readers.

But it's something, right? Better than the nothing I had to show a few short days ago! Hey, if Bjorn and the gang can't get my arm flab under control, who can?
All I need is a disco ball, a headband, some leg warmers, a unitard and Jane Fonda by my side...no, John Travolta.

And Hyacynth's little, "Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels" mantra has been keeping me away from those evil carbs for the most part. Except for this amazing Guacomole Dip they sell in every supermarket in Sweden. You know the one fellow Swedes. It's in the Taco section.

Swedes have a deep fascination with Mexican food. We've recently added Chicken Fajitas and Tacos to the menu, with none of the tortillas for me. But this damn dip. It's likely full of like the worst stuff possible, junk you can't pronounce in any language and the damn tin has NO nutritional info on it. I have no idea how many carbs I'm consuming when I shovel spoonful after spoonful into my mouth! Maybe if I did, I wouldn't sit with it like you sit with a bucket of ice cream. But I'm having fun fooling myself. I am pretending in my head that because on Atkins you can eat half an Avocado, half a tin of this dip is the exact same! It so is not. It so can't be. I'm delusional.

So where we at ladies? What are you deluding yourself into believing this week? Or maybe you already pulled the plug on those voices in your head. I am determined that the little cushion supporting the laptop on my lap will soon wither away and I'll have to find a new way to sit and type. I think it will be in a bikini. As a matter of fact, I will wear a bikini like everyday, even while cooking or scrubbing the toilet. I will wear it to the local supermarket. I will wear it out at night. My bikini and I shall be ONE when I'm in Montenegro this summer. Or maybe I'll get REALLY brave and head on over to Den's for a day in the buff! Now THAT would be something...

As I type these brave affirmations, I realize with a knot in my stomach, that a few of the people reading this weekly might actually hold me to this. To all of this. Why can't I just keep my big mouth shut and my fingers out of the Guacomole jar?